TOO LATE I SEE

I am writing this story at the request of a very Dear Loved One. This person, feeling inadequate to put thoughts into words, I offered my assistance. I am finding that as I age, I am becoming more of a thinker. There are so many things I wish I had known. Things I believe would have helped in raising my children. I was the Mother of two children. Both of which were so different. My daughter was responsive to reprimanding. She tried to be obedient. My son was defiant and disobedient. He was destructive and would purposely destroy his toys. I think that somehow I should have known something was wrong. As my son aged, I remember, he was not a happy child. I was raised in the old school, in which boys worked with their Fathers and girls worked with their Mothers. My daughter had no problem with this system. My son did not like it at all. He seemed to enjoy being in the house with me. He resented working with his Father in the family business, repairing vehicles or whatever needed done. He would complain and become very angry. On numerous occasions, I tried to explain to him that the knowledge and skills he learned as a young man would benefit him when he went into the work force. As a teenager my son had social difficulties. He met a young lady with a child. For the first time I seen him truly happy. It was such a pleasure to watch him enjoying his life and the lives of the people who were a part of it. One day this young lady rejected him and told him the relationship was over. His purpose for living had ended. Rejection was not something he was able to handle. He ended his life. For all the people that love him, our worlds were turned upside down. Guilt, pain, anger, lack of understanding, the desire to blame one another, were only a few of the overwhelming feelings flooding our minds. I wish I had known about depression. I feel guilty sometimes because I feel I let him down, and that there was something I could have done to help him. Too late I see the signs I only wish I had recognized and understood then. I would like to take this opportunity to tell all of you parents and grandparents, if you see behavioral issues in your children that concern you, please follow your instincts. Take them to the doctor. Don't hesitate. Be there for them. Spend quality time with them. Make every second count. Talk with them, go for walks with them, listen to them, really hear what they have to say. See and hear what they do through their young eyes and ears. Be the best role models you can be. Believe me when I tell you, after the empty nest syndrome, you will have plenty of time to sit, relax, watch tv, use the computer, read or like me---think. And when you think of this story, please think of me and whisper a prayer for me and all the people that have lost loved ones to suicide. Pray that God will help us that we won't be so sad and that it won't hurt so much. Pray that every day when we miss them so much that God will help us to focus on the happy memories. Pray that God will give us the strength to make it through each day. And most of all, please pray for anyone that may feel a sense of hopelessness. Pray that God will restore in them the desire to hold on to God's unchanging hand. Because if they can do that, they will see purpose for their lives. They will be able to see there is hope for a brighter tomorrow.